[ ♫ ] — - How long has it been since he’s seen the outside world? Hours, days, weeks, months, years-time means nothing in this realm and as usual…his body and health are unaffected by the flow of time, space, life, whatever correct word goes there. But then, he shouldn’t be thinking about things like that; he did this, put himself in here, for a reason. He thought, somehow, some way, that solitude, darkness, and silence would successfully erase his mind, numb him from all emotions, maybe even make him go a bit crazy-an option he didn’t mind, honestly. But it hasn’t happened yet, not to the point where he’s satisfied.
that’s all I ever do…
With his power, he can easily forget, easily run away from everything without affecting a single thing. If only it were that simple. Nothing, nothing so simple can melt such agonizing emotions from someone’s mind, body, heart. The memories are all still there, bright and stinging like a fresh cut; the emotions, every single one of them, refuse to leave, to let him forget; and the regrets…oh the regrets. There’s so, so many, where should he even begin unwillingly remembering? But…he’s not angry. No, there is not a trace of hate, or malice, or contempt. For and towards himself, perhaps, but that’s as far as the acidic fingers reach. To lose someone he loved-no, still loves so devastatingly- because of his own actions and mistakes…how can there possibly be room for anger?
Those gorgeous, beautiful memories are still so vivid. He cherishes them, even now, even in the cold blackness that has long since swallowed him up.
I’m so pathetic….
to not have been able to keep you…
to not be enough to carry you through every pain and loss, no matter how crippling, no matter how desperate and weak they made you…..
I’m so sorry…
Is it possible for him to just-forget? As he is now, nothing will ever change-he’ll remain trapped and unable to move, to feel. He’s sure there is a way, but..fear, terrifying fear stops him from pursuing. Why would he want to get rid of his important past, all of those moments that made him feel alive, accepted, free, and loved so perfectly that he could have just-exploded? It was just too cruel. But…did he….even deserve them? Did he deserve such precious things when he could no longer get them back? Or…is this just another one of the levels in his ‘punishment’ of immortality? To continue through life without living. If so, then certainly…this must be the worst it could ever get for him. Wasn’t this enough? Had he not earned his keep, paid back his mother for killing her? Yet another thing he just didn’t know, and probably never would.
He did, eventually, take that dreaded step. He removed himself from the darkness while keeping it inside his heart; he searched and searched and searched, dangling on to a thin, barely existent thread of a plan. He would get rid of his current demons-while still keeping hold of the possible chance he’ll simply find more. But that’s alright. There is no way out, no back door, no escape route. So he might as well wipe the slate clean start a whole new journey of inevitable misfortune. Yes, that-seems okay.
And when he found just what he was looking for, he didn’t know what to do. Suddenly doubt clung to every fiber of his being, suddenly every part of him screamed and begged not to go through with this plan and keep suffering. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t…anymore.
Three wishes. That was plenty sufficient. First, he wanted everyone who still remembers or might remember him…to be happy; no more suffering because of someone like him. Second, grant peace of mind for a certain hazel-eyed boy, don’t let that boy think of bad, horrible things anymore; let them…..find something, someone better. And third….make it all disappear. Make him forget, wipe everything clean, down to the very cells in his bones. Nothing left…absolutely nothing. That’s all. Nothing too hard to accomplish, right? Yeah…
Oh, and one more thing, before you do this.
Um, it’s merely a selfish request on my part
and you don’t have to do it, since I’ve used my time up, but….
after it’s all over, place me somewhere far, far away.
♔ ”No! Don’t take Greg back! Louise, no!” The cries reverberated off the walls in the empty room, the sound emitting from a young teens form. His arms were curled around the pillow in his lap, eyes wide and bright and focused on the television before him. “No! You dumbass!” he screamed, biting on the fabric of the pillow and whining at the screen, moving around so much the band holding his bangs up slipped off, hanging around his neck. As a result, long, untrimmed bangs fell over his eyes, but he only absently swept them away in hopes that the show he happened to be watching would take a turn. “That’s… he did a bad thing! You don’t forgive bad people for bad things!” he continued, growling as “Greg” went to pull “Louise” into a kiss. The noise he made didn’t sound human… or even anything an animal would make. “ARGH! Fuck you, Louise!” he crowed, gripping the pillow and tossing it to the large screen and slumped backwards. He had been left alone again - Charlie having been away all day, leaving a rather bored, moping lycan to find ways to entertain himself. Now that he had found this “Young and the Restless”, Cayden had spent all his time curled up on the living room sofa, crying and cheering and gasping like a middle aged housewife. “Charlie should be back now. He’d agree with me…”
[ ♫ ] — - Charlie had, in fact, been pretty busy today. He’d played the part of a good
husband domestic citizen and went out for some serious shopping. Cans and cans of paint for both interior and exterior usage, more food than anyone would like to picture Charlie buying-hey, he had like, what, five freezers and refrigerators anyway, so-, some building supplies-please do not ask-loads of new clothes for himself and maybe Cayden, too because dear lord that boy needs some help in the fashion department, and maaaaybe a new couch. And perhaps some new kitchen appliances as well. Honestly, this man has entirely too much money and not enough people to stop him from impulse-buying.
He’d forced Ragnarok and Artemis to help get most of it inside, but because of the rather violent and agitated response of a certain cat, Charlie just gave up for now and headed into the front portion of his beach house, where he knew for sure Cayden would be in some form or the other. And hot diggity dog, he was correct~ Though, what he walked into was definitely not… particularly expected. Charlie heard those very loud and passionate cries of anger before he even made it into the living room, so of course he silently kicked off his shoes and crept around the corner, watching from afar as his beloved, fucking adorable boyfriend got pretty damn into a soap opera on tv. What was that? The Young and the Restless? Ooooh dear…~ Stifling a laugh behind his hand, Charlie tip-toed on over, sliding right up the back of the couch where Cayden sat, biting his smiling lower lip before reaching forward and carefully, gently, planting his hands right over the pooch’s eyes, chin resting atop a chestnut head before singing out, “Guess whhhooooo~~”
♔ As Charlie went to put the game in the console, the brunette plopped himself onto the couch, pulling his legs up so he was seated comfortably. Watching, when the controller was handed to him he lit up, always excited to play one of many that he deemed as his ‘favorite games’. Leaning back a bit the wolf relaxed, the familiarity of the situation comforting, welcoming him with open arms. He selected the cop car (his favorite for some odd reason — and. just maybe, it was because of the red and blue lights that he could access when driving) and snorted softly at the specifics the redhead happened to bring up on one of his favorite choices when they played said game. He was a bit shocked to learn Charlie knew so much about cars, but he was just learning things about the elder, so he took it in stride and locked the information away for later when he first found out.
“Heh, dork,” he did happen to mutter, gently tapping his own knee against the travelers, still able to feel the warmth of his body through the fabric and did his best to focus on the game. Or, rather, winning. Anything but the knots forming in his abdomen - a steady, reoccurring feeling the younger couldn’t really get over. As the game picked up, Cayden’s undivided attention was on the game, intent on beating Charlie, making sharp, unnecessary turns and knocking into cars with his horrible coordination It didn’t register Charlie was not playing any longer until the warm feeling vanished, leaving a small chill that had hazel pools peeling from the screen and curiously over to where the other boy’s scent lead him.
“Ready for real ready?” he perked up, watching his car pass third on the finish line before tossing the controller down, bounding into the kitchen, stumbling a few times. He paused, eyes flickering over to the oven, head angled upwards. “Wait a few minutes,” he said suddenly, hand attaching to Charlie’s arm, absently gripping at his bicep. “It doesn’t smell done yet.” Wolf senses to the rescue.
[ ♫ ] — - Blinking in surprise, Charlie glanced down at Cayden curiously, hands stopping mid-way from sliding on some mittens. It had been the correct amount of time, so the cake should be done, but-by the look on Cayden’s face, the wolf knew what he was talking about. Blinking and pursing lips, he nodded, lowering his hand. “Hmm..if you say so,” he chuckled, ruffling Cayden’s brown locks with a mitten-clad hand. “Do you have some special baking know-how that you’ve been hiding from me~?” Another chuckle and playful rise of an eyebrow was given before Charlie turned on his heel, wasting time by getting the icing and spreading spatula ready. By then a few minutes had passed, bringing with it the strong smell of cooking cake batter. His mouth was watering already. “Now?” Charlie asked a little too eagerly, throwing excited orange hues to the other, taking after Cayden with those puppy-dog expression of his.
And when all is well and good, Charlie adjusts the mittens like they’re impressive leather biker gloves, and opens the oven. Heat blasts hims square in the face, causing him to lean back ever so slightly. Inside the pan, their hand-made desert appears to be nicely browned on the top. Smiling to himself, Charlie reaches in, carefully taking it out and shutting the oven door with a foot. “Can you turn that off for me, please?” he asks over his shoulder to Cayden, setting the piping hot pan down on a special cooling rack. He stares for a moment, watching the steam rise. “….Damn, I almost forgot that you gotta wait for the cake to cool off before putting icing….” Ultra childish pouty face, initiate.